The cure for being bored
by Doomed Desires
Summary: Join Edward and Jacob on their quest to get a Hello Kitty shirt at Hot Topic.Seems easy, right? Along the way, they'll face deranged cops,drug addicts,and a cult of Satanists.Oh and did I mention the zombies? WARNING: CONTAINS EDWARD X JACOB SLASH!
1. Meeting our boys of the supernatural

**I cannot believe I'm doing this...**

**This is my first ever Twilight fic and it's going to be Edward x Jacob SLASH yaoi whatever you want to call it. They are secretly gay and have been seeing each other..well...in secret.**

**I oringinally was going to make this a crack fic, but then a girl suggested that I make it a actual story, not just pure stupidity.**

**So yeah, here it is.**

**Hope I didn't make them too OCC!**

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This is a story about two teenage boys.

And a Hello Kitty shirt.

Edward really wanted one because he thought Hello Kitty was really cute with her bow and cute little ears...

Hmm...one would think he was gay...

Well, surprise, surprise, he actually WAS gay, but he covered up his real preference by going out with a girl at school. Edward Cullen was very popular at school and everyone-even the teachers- adored him. If they found out he was gay, well, it would ruin everything....No one knew except his sister, Alice.

But there was something else about Edward that I didn't mention.

He was a vampire and for some reason, he would SPARKLE in the sunlight. He hated it and he often wore long sleeves to cover his arms. And then Jacob would go and call him Sparkle Boy or bloodsucker.

Ah yes, Jacob Black.

He was Edward's secret lover and liked to tease him about being all sparkly like. With his long black hair, dark compextion, and muscles, Jacob could very well be a model. And Edward loved him for it and his personality.

They two lived in the incredibly dreary town of Forks and there wasn't really a whole lot to do. So they both would often go out in the woods and talk or Edward would play fetch with Jacob.

I bet your thinking, _Wait..isn''t that a game you play with dogs?_

Well, yes. Jacob had something rather unique about him as well...

Jacob wasn't a dog, he was a werewolf.

He hung out in the woods with his wolf pack and hunted only at night. Vampires and werewolves were natural ennimies, so of course Jacob's and Edward's parents hated each other. But even though their families hated, Edward and Jacob remained friends.

So this is the story of them and their misadventure....

All to get a freaking Hello Kitty shirt...

**Oh yes, something I should mention, this story does NOT have anything to do with the books. Yes, there are vampires and werewolves, but Bella isn't involved and is still whiny and emo as ever.**

**So tell me what you think so far and no flames.**

**See you.**


	2. A Hello Kitty shirt?

**I have two reviews so far, thanks you guys! Here's the next chapter!**

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"I don't have a five. Go fish."

"Damn..."

The two teenage boys were playing cards at Edward's place and drinking Cola out of the bottle. Edward's family was out at a resort for a entire week and Jacob's wolf pack was taking it easy and resting deep in the forest behind his house.

"Yeah, everything's normal here. Just a bloodsucker and fleabag playing a friendly game of cards." Jacob muttered and leaned back in the chair, shutting his eyes. He was wearing a white T shirt that said I DID IT FOR THE LULZ while Edward was wearing his usual long sleeved shirt and jeans.

"So..." The vampire smiled at him and Jacob cracked open one eye."Yes, Eddikins?" He mocked and Edward gritted his teeth at his hated nickname. There was something that he really wanted, but he was too afraid to tell Jacob. It wasn't a kiss, he got those regularly.

"I'd better come out and say it." He said outloud and Jacob leaned towards him, his eyes lighting up eagerly."Come out and say what?" He demanded and Edward took a deep breath.

"I want a Hello Kitty shirt."

There was silence, abosolute _stunned _silence for a minute.

Then...

"That's your big news? Why the hell would you want a Hello Kitty shirt?" Jacob burst out and pulled at his hair in frustration."Are you trying to make your gayness be known? I mean, we're both gay but I hide it as much as possible! What if our parents find out?"

Edward took a deep breath."I'm tired of hiding, Jake. I want to share the fact that I'm gay with people so that they'll accept me." He explained and Jacob rolled his eyes."Oh, they'll accept you allright..." He sighed and stared Edward in the eyes.

"Look, I really don't think that this is such a great idea. If anyone finds out..."

Edward sighed and stood up, scratching his hair."And so what if they do? I just want to stop hiding all of the time!"

Jacob rolled his eyes and shoved his hands in his pockets. It looked like Edward wouldn't change his mind, he never did when it came to weird stuff like this...

"Okay, Ed." He finally said, kissing his boyfriend on the cheeck."We'll go and get a.." He swallowed and took a deep breath."...Hello Kitty shirt. But we don't even have a Hot Topic in Forks.."

Edward smiled and pulled a map out of his pocket, unfolding it and then set it on the table."Okay, the nearest mall would be...all the way in Greenstate..." Jacob glanced at the map."Hey! That's not so far!"

Edward nodded and slipped the map back into his pocket."Dude, I love you Thank you for agreeing." He whispered to Jacob, kissing him on the lips and Jacob kissed him back."What would you do witout me?"

Edward turned and walked back to his house while Jacob started preparing to go on the road trip.

It was just a little trip, he reminded himsef as he packed some clothes.

All they would do is go all the way to the mall, get the shirt, and then they'd be out of there.

No biggie.

Not like anything weird was going happen along the way..

**review.**

**no flames**


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